If Your Still-Married Boyfriend Asked You to Pay for His Divorce, What Would You Do?

Many people in relationships will go through their fair share of struggles and challenges. For some of the luckier ones, they can overcome these hurdles on their own without the need for any outside help. But for others, it’s almost impossible to try to fix the problems in a relationship without seeking the advice of others.



That’s exactly where people like Morgan Absher come in. She’s an occupational therapist who is based in Los Angeles and gives relationship advice on her podcast and online blog. Absher has encountered many different relationship struggles, ranging from tiny squabbles to more severe issues. But there’s one case in particular that really caught the public’s attention.

A Curious Case


In an article that she published on USA Today, Absher wrote about a curious and messy case involving a 39-year-old lady, her 33-year-old boyfriend… and his wife. Readers write to Absher about the problems in their relationships and ask her for advice. And for this particular case, things were relatively messier than usual.

She wrote:

“We have been together for five years. There are a few things I can’t handle and have voiced my opinion on, but I get called crazy or just get ignored. Communication for us has been minimal for the past two years or so,”



“He is still married to his ex. While he has promised a divorce, he refuses to get one now unless I pay for it. He and I are intimate three times a month and only when he wants to. He doesn’t compliment or acknowledge any of my social media posts or things I send directly to him (like racy pictures)… Am I wrong for being mad?”

Reality Check

Absher didn’t shy away from being candid in her response to the person who posed the question.

“You’re not wrong for being mad, but my real question is why are you staying with a partner who isn’t meeting any of your basic relationship needs… The fact that he isn’t actively pursuing his divorce himself is a pretty big red flag for me. Why is he comfortable being married to his ex?”





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