Motherhood is one of the hardest tasks in the
world – but it’s also one of the most rewarding. But
when a woman is meant to raise a child at a very
young age, she’s oftentimes not prepared to do so.
Such is today’s story of a woman who made a few
mistakes in her early life and is still suffering the
consequences.
The Story
A Redditor named ShelsBetterWithoutMe posted
her story on ATA (Am I the A**hole?) to share what
happened to her and how her daughter is now
estranged. She wrote:
“So, I was probably a month over eighteen
when I got pregnant. My boyfriend was very
controlling, always yelled, screamed and after
were married it got even worse. I stayed with
him for eight years and I ended up falling in
love with my current husband Arthur during
that time. I know we were wrong to have an
affair and I deserve hate for that. I mean, it cost
me my daughter Sophia (now 21).”
“I should have been stronger and just left my ex
cause I doubt he even needed to brainwash her
to make her hate me. I tried to be there, I tried
to fight for shared custody but Sophia wanted
nothing to do with me. After my ex got
remarried, Sophia got a great stepmother who
she asked to legally adopt her when she turned
fifteen. I didn’t want it to happen and wanted to
fight it but if me being her mom hurt her so
much she wanted a new one, I let it because it
was my fault and I’d already lost her long ago.”
“After she legally stopped being my daughter, I
reconnected with Arthur, we got married, had a
daughter and I’m pregnant with our boy right
now. I’d still see Sophia since she’d go to my
mom’s house a lot cause that was still her
grandma even if I’m not her mom. My mom,
however, died two weeks ago and it’s caused a
lot of chaos in everybody’s lives. Now, we have
that weird tradition where the eldest daughter
gets a collection of special necklaces. I was the
eldest, so I got my mom’s special necklaces
and wore one to her funeral just like she did to
her mom’s funeral.”
“At the funeral, when Sophia saw me, she shook my hand like I was a stranger and just said ‘Sorry for your loss Mrs. Rey’. Then after the funeral she pulled me aside and asked if she would be allowed to take some of a necklace early because she’d like to wear it to the wake. I just told her no, that the necklaces are mine and after me, they’d belong to my daughter, because she is the eldest in my family. She just said ok and didn’t talk to me at the wake except to say thanks for when I gave her my mother’s much more valuable rings. My brother told me I should have let her have some of the necklaces and I was an a**hole not to. The thing is, my mother was the last thing tying Sophia to me, so I don’t see how I’m the a**hole for what I did.”
The Response
Reddit’s community was on the fence about this
one. A lot of them said NTA – Not the A**hole.
While others said YTA – You’re the A**hole. Here
are some of the comments:
ChapSteve711 commented:
“NTA. Sophia may be your daughter by blood,
but she is no longer your daughter in any other
sense of the word. Because she no longer
wants to be your daughter, your heirlooms
should go to children who will view you as their
mother.”
“If your brother wants to give Sophia some of
his things, let him. He doesn’t get to dictate to
you, and he’s an AH for trying. Tell him where
to stuff it. “s
Milly-Molly-Mandy-78 said:
“NTA. You made some poor decisions long ago.
Your ex being the biggest one, but your eldest
daughter has made her own decisions, calling
you Mrs Rey must have hurt. I hope you all can
move on in time.”
faieree wrote:
“NTA she doesn’t see you as a mother legally or
emotionally, let alone family. So she doesn’t
qualify as a daughter, you were kind enough to
give her the rings.”
onlyangel96 chimed in:
“I’m gonna get downvoted but YTA. You could
try acting like a mother now since you didn’t for
all of Sophia’s childhood. She’s still your
daughter. You were the one that made the bad
choices and it’s entirely on you how this
relationship has gotten messed up. It would
absolutely not hurt for you to give her a
necklace and for you to say that she won’t get
them because she isn’t the oldest (WHEN SHE
IS) is BS.”
moew4974 said:
“OMG, YTA.”
“You made a lot of choices and decisions, but
never once have you stepped up for this child.
You let your feelings regarding your ex husband
color how you felt about YOUR child and just
because she got a stepmother, you felt like you
should just give her up? Lady, you’re a piece of
work. You are acting like you didn’t carry her
and didn’t raise her for eight (8) years! What is
wrong with you? Forget the relationship with
you, but she did have a relationship with your
mother and she was your mother’s eldest
granddaughter. For that she should have been
given the necklaces.”
This post has over 1.5k comments at the time of
writing this post, you can read them all on Reddit
here.
What’s Your Take?
Which side are you on? Do you think she did the right thing or not? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Source: Reddit